The universe did you a favor today

Just as I came into the house after doing yard work, the universe decided to make me pay for the battle I had just fought against chaos. It decided that I had to write. First I noticed the workshop pamphlet in the mail had a "How to Blog" class listed. Then I realized "Your life is now" was playing on iTunes. Finally the overwhelming urge to sit (after 5 hours of yard work) came upon me. So I gave in.

I think I brought this up last time I wrote, but it's been a year since I actually walked away from UCLA. I'm going to have to start thinking of a new catch phrase other than "A year ago I was a researcher". That's not going to cut it anymore. Not that most Hollywood types would know or care. So much B.S. is flung it's almost hard to know what is real. But...I guess the people who know what they are doing can tell the shit from what is legit. Last year at my internship at a production company, I sat in on a call from another producer that was trying to get financing. He was doing a peacock preening type dance over the phone, and on my end we were just stopping short of rolling our eyes. Even me, who hadn't seen this display yet. But after a few minutes, his display was up, and he was bending over. Sorry to mix metaphors, but I don't know what I peacock would do if he got dominated by another male. He was groveling, begging, giving in. Now that I've actually described the story, it seems that a lot of business is done this way. Or maybe that is just how men do business. Women were always treated differently; with mutual respect whether they were on the phone or had come to a meeting in the office. Now, that is probably just this particular company. Because I know from experience that we are often talked down to and thought to be either sexual objects or just plain dumb. That is part of my M.O. by the way. I look younger, and seem cuter and more naive than I really am. I may be new to this industry, but I've made it through one of the most grueling educational rights of passage that there is. I've made hard decisions and am reminded routinely that I may have to do all this from a wheelchair sooner or later. So when you see my sweet smile or hear my high voice, enjoy the moment, because soon enough I will come down and ride your ass until I get what I want.

Occurrences

It occurred to me the other day that I haven't written for a while. It also occurred to me that I'm now my own boss, so I really don't need to hide this anymore.

It also occurred to me that my blogging isn't all that interesting since I don't do it very much.

In general, a lot has occurred since last year. I've produced a feature film, I'm working on a short film now, Richard finished the script for our own feature and we have a director attached (the beautiful Kristina Lloyd - my teacher, and friend), we've been on the radio and in the newspaper. Things have moved so fast in the last year, I'm worried about next year. Can we sustain? Will be still be successful? Will things go so much faster that we'll lose sight of what our motivations were in the first place?

There are some new LARGE hurdles coming up n the next few months, like fund raising, and I'm a little scared. Even more so than I was last year. Do I know enough to pull this off? Will I be able to put everything together? Will we raise some money and make a movie, but it will all be a big bust and nothing will come out of it and when we look back in ten years, this will all just be some crazy idea we had?

Well, it's now occurring to me that I better stop writing and get to making phone calls, because if I don't, I won't have to wait ten years for it to be a crazy idea that tanked.